FUNNY MONDAY: GOT BALLS?

"Goat fighting balls?" Yes, it must be lunchtime at 1 of 7 again, with today's "Funny Monday" special being served up from rural Myanmar.

While it doesn't take a redneck or a rancher to guess that a "fighting ball" is an animal testicle, we couldn't help but be impressed by all the ways they're served here. "Dry?" "Sweet?" "with Bean?"  

It's like Burger King's "Have It Your Way," but for balls. 

If that's not enough to get your juices flowing, add a heaping serving of stewed goat's brain...with quail eggs, of course. Which are "sweet." MMMM. 

And people ask us why we lose weight when we travel. At least there's no feces this time.  

A VISIT TO A SCHOOL IN MYANMAR

School kids at the Seik Phu Taung Youth Development Center in southern Myanmar. 

From the rear of a local bus cleverly disguised as a 1970s Toyota pickup, we glimpsed a big sign on the roadside that marked the entrance to the “Seik Phu Taung Youth Development Center.” Being in Myanmar, where you can only guess the actual meaning of anything posted publicly in English, it was impossible to know what the sign represented.

Was it a government-run propaganda education camp set out to brainwash help children? Was it something more worthwhile?

When we got to the nearest town, called Kinpun, we asked a couple folks about the place. Surprisingly, we learned Seik Phu Taung serves as a privately-run orphanage and school for some 600 of Myanmar’s underprivileged boys and girls. And, unlike many places, the government doesn’t forbid foreigners to visit (much of Myanmar still is off limits to foreigners). 

Mr. O gives Liz a tour.

After hitting up a store for a big stack of notebooks and pencils for the kids, we jumped on the back of two motorcycle-taxis and headed back the way we came. An hour later, we were getting a tour of the center from the headmaster, a retired teacher we called Mr. O, who was extremely happy to meet two English-speaking foreigners bearing gifts the kids could use.

Built on a 15-acre compound, the Center houses and educates boys and girls from 1-15 yrs old. A school onsite provides a secular education up to 8th grade, and it’s all run on donations from visitors and local benefactors.

Mr. O walked us into two of the classrooms, where around 20 children were learning English and math. While the math proved a bit difficult for us (because it was in a foreign language, Kip thought we should point out...), we were able to help a little in the language department, talking with the kids, who were terribly shy at first, but slowly began to test their English skills with us.

Liz and one of the English teachers, whose cheeks are spotted with thanakha, a lotion and/or sunblock made from trees.  Women, children, and some men have worn thanakha for some 2,000 years. Many still wear it and consider it a Burmese beauty secret.

After a too brief but fun visit, we let the kids get back to their regular lessons, thanking Mr. O for the tour and for his time. He shook our hands and told us that every little bit helps. He also asked us to pass on the word about his “little school” in case anyone else wanted to drop in or make a donation. We assured him we would. 

While there’s no way yet to donate online (the web address he gave us, www.SeikPhuTaung.com, wasn't working at press time) you're welcome to stop by. Seik Phu Taung is on the road between Kinpun and The Golden Rock, aka Mt. Kyaiktiyo. Among many other things, the Center needs notebooks, pencils, rice, and soap.

PHOTO FRIDAY: HAPPY MONKS IN MYANMAR

On a tiny island on a tiny lake in southern Myanmar, atop a needle-like column of limestone there sits an ancient golden pagoda where holy men still go to worship. Below the stupa numerous monks live, including the crew seen crossing the old concrete bridge above. All the guys seemed happy to see us, shouting out a loud "Mingalaba" as they approached. One even gave us a thumbs up. Despite all the hardships the people of Myanmar endure, we have never been greeted with anything less than a smile and friendly word. It's a habit we're trying to learn ourselves.

150 DAYS: A LOOK AT THE NUMBERS

Celebrating 150 days on the road at a sidewalk food stall in Rangoon, Burma (aka Yangon, Myanmar).

After eight countries and around 20,000 miles, we hit the 150-day mark of the trip this week in Myanmar, the country formerly known as Burma.

While there have been plenty of teachable moments and surprises, the most shocking part so far is that Liz hasn't left Kip stranded in a rice paddy with a water buffalo (see photo 5), or that Kip hasn't killed us both in motorcycle wrecks (2) or cliff jumps/falls (many). Seriously. 

In celebration of reaching such an auspicious milestone safely (as if we need a reason to celebrate), we pulled up two plastic chairs at a sidewalk food stall in Yangon and ordered a tall, cold Myanmar beer, toasting to the simple pleasures of the traveling life while hoping we wouldn't get food poisoning.

Yes, we were sweating, the mosquitoes were feeding, a smelly stray dog sat under Liz's chair (which she loved), and the beer was actually a bit warm, but no matter. This was living! 

Inspired, we did a bit of calculating and came up with a few of the more interesting numbers from the journey thus far. It's been a long, strange trip indeed. 

• Countries visited: 8  (South Korea, Philippines, Palau, Malaysia, Singapore, Laos, Thailand, Burma)
• Miles traveled: 20,000-ish (rough estimate...hard to calculate from here)
• Favorite place: Catanduanes, Philippines
• Cheapest hotel: $4 (Muang Ngoi Neua, Laos)
• Most expensive hotel: $74 (Demai Beach Resort, Malaysian Borneo)
• Favorite volunteer opp: Beach cleaning in Borneo 
• Places volunteered: 38
• Favorite 1 of 7 photo: See below
• Photos taken: 8,245

The five little angels in white sprint back to their mosque after helping us clean up a beach on the tip of Borneo. 

A few more:

• Books read: 28 each (long bus/boat/train rides; beach time)
• Weight lost: 10 lbs. each (third-world travel is guaranteed weight loss, whether you want it or not)
• Overnight buses: 10+ (saves a night in a hotel, plus you wake up in a new place; of course, you're exhausted, cranky, and confused upon arrival, but, hey, that's like every morning before work back home, right?)
• Times mobile phone rang: 0 (not that we have working phones, but still...)
• Times shaved/worn a suit/tied a tie: 0 (this one's for Kip)
• Times worn close-toed shoes: Twice (to hike a mountain and to prevent leeches)
• Missed flights: three (all Kip's fault)
• Pairs of flip flops worn out: 5

Second favorite 1 of 7 photo:

Kip makes a new friend in the Philippines.

FUNNY MONDAY: NO IMMORTALS IN MYANMAR

In addition to the positives about traveling in Myanmar (friendly people, incredible scenery, etc), we've also heard many not-so-great things about visiting here--horrid roads, ancient buses, bugs galore, limited internet access, not to mention no ATMs or credit card capabilities, which means you must enter the country hauling stacks of crisp, clean, never-folded, like-new US dollar bills (they are extremely serious about this).

Oddly, pristine dollars are the only currency exchangeable for the local kyat. All this of course comes under the watchful eyes of a totalitarian, often brutal goverment.

However, who knew the government was concerned about "immortal materials"...as outlined in their customs forms we received upon arrival.

Lucky for us we had nothing to declare, as we left all our morally injuring and immortal items back in Bangkok.